Unexposed Strips Episode 1

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Jao then Ciao

Alright guys, it's been two months and I've completely forgotten this thing even existed.  I mean there's school and stuff.  Priorities.  Get over it.  The most likely I'll ever post on this is when it's the holidays, I'm sick of people, and I'm missing chick-fil-a.

This is my happy place.

So, it's not a holiday but I'm avoiding humans and I miss fried chicken so that's close enough.

The final stop in our trip that was Jao.  This camp is pretty much all on water, which is pretty cool.  The camp itself is also different.  It is inspired by Bali.  So it's like putting Africa and Asia together, add water, then stir.  That's Jao.  That's pretty cool.  So, we meet our guide Alberto!!!

ALBERTO!!!

 During this wonderful place we saw hippos who were not mad at us for invading their personal space.

Happy Hippo playing Hungry Hungry Hippos.

We almost got hit my impala while riding our boat.  We also ticked off an elephant that is the size of a house and then some.  Surprisingly just our presence made him upset.  Dad had nothing to do with it. Dad did have close encounters with a baboon though.  Apparently the baboon chose to charge at him. If only that baboon had known that my father had once played Jackson Prep Football (I'm not sure he's told anyone that yet), and charging him would not be wise.  As an added accessory, my father was also a college cheerleader.  

Intimidating right?!

Anyways, we unfortunately had to leave.  Now, does anyone here remember a few months back when I posted about my air travel problems getting to Africa? Well going back wasn't as bad but it wasn't pretty either.  The guy sitting next to me was the personification of 12 Angry Men rolled up into one American government employee in a foreign country.  So naturally he was as alcoholic as Willy Nelson is a pothead.  For real though, he would order vodka tonic without the tonic.  Then this drunk man decided to watch Armageddon and The Day after Tomorrow.  He passed out on The Day After Tomorrow with his face plastered on the screen.  It was during the scene where New York is being wiped out by a tsunami.  I imagine that was movie version of what was happening to his liver.  

Now, you may ask "Where are your parents?"  I'll tell you.  THEY WERE IN FIRST CLASS THE ENTIRE TIME BOTH WAYS!

My Parents.

me.

That's all for that trip. I'm in NYC now, in college, and about to go back to work.  Adios. 

Mombo!

   How to describe Mombo? Um, it's freaking amazing.  Like no joke, this is near perfection (minus the spiders). We get there and there are Beans bidding me welcome!!!

  Greeted by an excellent staff of Graham and (aunt) Jemima.  Saw Family friends who are the Hoods (two deep southern families with accents all over the place may have been too much for some of the staff).  Met the legendary Sefo.  Sefo was my parents favorite part of Africa last time they visited... maybe not THE favorite but one of the ones for sure.  Fairly certain they'd choose him with his wife and child over me...    anyways, Sefo took us on amazing game drives.  We saw Lions (the 2 male to 4 female prides), leopards, hyenas and much more.  My father, unfortunately, loves to berate the elephants which causes them to charge.  I like to live and comment and that's very hard to do when you have been trampled by elephant like this.  At night, we had great meals and then went back to our tents.  I then promptly checked for any bugs (spiders) that may be in my room (only spiders)  so that I can get rid of them (KILL ALL THE SPIDERS!).

A World Free of the Tyranny of Spiders

  My mother told me that not many things hunt and kill spiders outside of Cambodians (it's a delicacy for them).  This makes me ecstatic.  Why aren't there more Cambodians in the world?? Alas, this was Botswana and I have been given a can of insecticide called DOOM.  It's not even legal in the U.S. that's how potent it is.  Apparently, you spray this on any bug and it's the equivalent of dropping a nuke in their lungs.  Well the title works well for me!  So inside my mosquito net with DOOM right beside me and a book (old fashioned way of getting rid of your problems [again, just spiders]), I was living the life! Then 5 AM rolled around and back on the game drive I go!  We saw a pride of lions munching on some Hippo, a Wild Dog (the coolest) called Solo, some very cool Hyena puppies, and a Wildebeest trying to fit in with some Zebra.  

  Lane by this time is pulling jokes left and right.  Calling the Zebras fratty (ze-braaaaa) and the pack of wild dogs are like sorority rush at Ole Miss.  So nothing at Mombo was ever boring.  Also! We had an outside SURPRISE lunch!  It was awesome.  We as well saw a Leopard eating it's lunch in a tree.  It was a Baboon she had tucked away in case she wanted snacks later.  My kind of animal.  Finally though, it was time for us to leave.  Sefo, Graham, and Jemima all came to wish us farewell.  Leaving Sefo apparently is hell on my mom.  Caroline joined in on this one.  Watching Sefo say goodbye my mom had this moment.  If you saw that video I'm sorry you had to see that, but it is the most accurate representation of what went down.  So we left Mombo (I WILL RETURN!!!), and on to our final camp, Jao.   

Kingspool

  The 2nd Time in Johannesburg we met up with my Sister and her husband.  We were in a hotel right across from the airport (20 steps almost) and were already accosted by men who want money for just looking at us.  So that was odd.  After dinner and a fantastic hangout at the pool we called it for the night.  

  From there we flew to Maun, Botswana and then to Kings Pool which is in the Linyati.

It is on the red dot somewhere.

   This place is great.  The room was HUGE and we almost immediately when on a game drive with our quick witted guide, Lemme.  We saw Elephants, Baboons, and Giraffes but the scene stealers were the Lions.  Usually, Lions go in prides of 2 lazy males and several more hardworking females who kill the food and nurture the young while the men live vicariously through them.  Think of the bond girls who don't do much but claim they were helpful.  That's what male lions are in a pride.  Other than prides, you may see a singular male lion seeking to break into the Pride industry.  We saw 4 male lions, who were brothers, and were gay.  Incest gay. The one with the biggest mane was going at it with his "bro" every 3 minutes.  I guess their motto really was bros before hoes.

  After seeing the pride of gay lions (Gay Pride! Get it?!) [Disclaimer: I have nothing against LGBT community, I was just surprised].  We met a really chill and genuine couple from Connecticut and had dinner with them.  The Next day after waking up at 5 in the COLD morning, I realize I won't be on wifi for a week.  I'm in the dark in Botswana.  I was told before, but then it hit me.  So I just figured that out, however all worries subsided when I saw a leopard in between a HUGE lion and a ginormous elephant.  Her predicament was captivating to say the least.  She climbed up a tree and probably hid there till the lion left.  After another dinner and chatting with a new couple [the wife who hasn't hit middle age yet and the husband who's from the middle ages] I was pooped.  I woke up at the same time, did a drive and left for Mombo.  During the drive in the morning, we saw one of the male lions of the Gay Pride being followed by a female lion.  He entertained the idea but ultimately decided that girls probably weren't his thing.  Also, probs not the best idea to piss off the hunter of the species.  I know the male lions are bigger and stronger, but the females actually do the killing.  So he past out and that was that. 

    Leaving our guide was pretty hard.  Lemme was the coolest and my sister with her husband really connected with him.  As we took of on our small plane we saw him waving goodbye to us.  My sister looked like she just experienced seeing Toy Story 3 for the first time. Unfortunately, it won't be the last time we cried over leaving our wonderful guides.  

Cape Town, Cape of Good Hope, and Grootsbus

  Ok, so my father ordered a rather early wake up call in Cape Town, to which I reluctantly adhered to.

Me in the Morning w/o coffee. Taken 2 days ago. 

    Breakfast was great, we then did a tour of the coastal cities on the way down to the Cape of Good Hope.  I saw some interesting things like shark watchers on a cliff overlooking a beach to insure that either the surfers are safe or that they are indeed being eaten by a shark and nothing else.  Other than that, I'm pretty sure I ticked off the driver by passing out.  My parents insisted I sit in the front so I'd get the best view.  Noble and wonderful intentions, but jet lag had me.  Went to the Cape and went to the top of a small cliff with my Dad.  The wind was so strong and cold that it could only be from Antarctica.  Then we drove back (me sleeping) through the scenic route (didn't see a thing).  Later we had an astounding dinner with a wine tasting with a friend of my parents.  She was French and my age.  My sisters tell me to take one for the team, but I think that phrase only counts if it was a bad deal for me.  Anyways,  that was that.  The next day we woke up and strolled around Cape Town and took a tour boat that didn't show much but some (and I will only say this word for these animals or puppies and nothing else) adorable seals.  Then off to Walker's Bay to a private reserve called Grootsbus.  This place gave a WHOLE cottage to myself and it took 5 minutes to walk from there to the main place.  The food again was fantastic.  The next morning I was supposed to go cage diving with Great White Sharks in sub-zero temperatures.

  But because of epic gale force winds from Antarctica, no boats were allowed on the sea.  I was upset that I didn't get to see the Sharks but even more upset that the sharks never got to see me. 

  So plant tour here I come.  It was entertaining but more relaxing which was cool.  Then back to Cape Town and on to Johannesburg for one last cool plane ride.  

Post Africa

  Yesterday, I returned home from a 2 week trip in South Africa and Botswana (and Namibia).  I took a flight from New York to Jackson, MS where I am originally from to get prepared.  Then a two hour flight to Atlanta with a VERY talkative Canadian by me.  She took no hints and spoke the entire time.  I should have just been rude and tuned her out, but I didn't.  Then from Atlanta to Johannesburg.  A nearly 16 hour flight.  Good grief.  So that happened and my lights nor my air was working the ENTIRE TIME! Just those 3 seats.  Just those.  Also, I would like to thank Delta and the other airlines for cramming people in a plane with SMALL seats.  The odd lady next to me looked familiar to the stars of Heavyweights (not like that's bad) was sitting uncomfortably in small seats where her body was poking out everywhere.  She had to get up so I could pull my tray table to me.  

Yeah.  That's what didn't annoy me, what annoyed me was her choice in films and pausing them on the way there but we'll get to that.   So the only stewardess who cared about my predicament gave me a reading light that was well used for my trip.  I had already seen most of the films that were options and really wanted to finish Cloud Atlas.  The lady next to me watched Mud for 2 minutes then turned it like 21 and Over or something and paused it on a woman's bare breasts for a bathroom break.  Unbelievable.  So I barely slept but we got there.  The airport was cool except for the fact the chorus to Icona Pop's I Love It was on loop for the entire time... just the chorus.  That's two lines people.  "I don't Care! I love IT!!"  Over and over.  (If you haven't heard this glorious song, here it is)  Then we boarded another plane for Cape Town which was one of the BEST PLANE experiences ever.  Wine and great airplane food?  They exist indeed.  I was so happy that almost anything like this wouldn't really bother me.  Finally we got to the hotel called the One and Only and it was AWESOME! More to come later, with less complaints.

Introduction

   Look.  This isn't serious.  This blog thing? I think of it as a journal.  Except that anyone can read it.  I suppose the usual stereotype is a person posting very intimate details of their daily routine that they may find out of the ordinary.

Not me featured above.

   Again this will not be me.  Now I may be self-depricating and what not but that's it.  Also, I'm not interesting.  These are purely thoughts and musings.  I'm not trying to get a film made from this like the Amy Adams and Meryl Streep movie, or to captivate you via facebook shares like 40 Days of Dating.  I actually did this by suggestion of my mother.  Yes.  You read that right. My mom suggested it to me.

    So what? I did it and the probability is I probably won't keep up with it cause I usually lose interest in many aspects of my life then I swing into it later for like 2 days then out.  Seriously, follow me on Instagram and find out how odd my timing is.  

   So here I am pondering if this an Attention vs. Distraction and concluding that is most likely both as is most arguments.  I know, such a cop out to take both sides of an argument but it's not like there is anything at stake.  Anyways, this is to serve as a disclaimer to not get your hopes up.  I'm not a Super spy, a indi famous person, a meth cook, or even a hipster. Hopefully one of those will be the case, but not now.  

P.S.  I will talk about travels, school, movies, tv, and life.  If I say anything offensive, believe me it was not intentional. Just don't follow me anymore.  Just don't do it.  As you can see, I'm incredibly frustrating to argue with.  Not because I'm right, but because I take things personal and too far.  So... I'm stubborn.